There's only one....

John Hartson Version
There's only one JOHNNY HARTSON
There's only one JOHNNY HARTSON
He's got nae hair,
BUT we don't care
Walking in a Hartson Wonderland...

Jorge Cadette Version
There's only one JORGE CADETTE
He puts the ball in the netty
He's Portugese,
and he scores with ease
Walking in a Jorge Wonderland

(sung to the tune "Walking in a Winter Wonderland", with apologies to Dick Smith and Felix Bernard the original authors of the tune)...